Facebook Discussion on Etiquette for Musicians Who Want to “Sit In” // Discussion of Facebook re: Touring for Independent Artists
Levi Velasquez: If you play harmonica, nobody likes it when you show up at another band’s gig and ask to sit in. I respect a good harp player as much as I do any other good musician. But the entitlement of and frequency at which guys who show up with harmonicas at gigs is astounding.
If you’re in a blues or bluesy rock band every amateur chap with a harmonica from Timbuktu to Portland Maine assumes we are going to be thrilled he showed up ready to blow.
This seldom ever works out. Either they haven’t the skill or don’t come equipped with the right key.
I will never let anyone on stage who asks to get on stage and nobody I respect as a musician would ever ask.
Build your network, demonstrate your ability the right way and I promise you people will invite you to sit in. But don’t show up with an entitled attitude. If any of these bands wanted a full time harp player, they’d have one.
Also, I must reiterate how much I respect the instrument and the people who play it well. We regularly have guys up that absolutely rip. These guys are also our friends, are humble and don’t force their way up or throw tantrums if its not the right time.
I had this guy’s wife cuss me out and say I should be kissing her husband’s feet when I didn’t let him up. But that’s for another story time.
Also I think it’s a false perception by some people who aren’t musicians that some instruments are “easy” to play when they decide to start exploring music. Honorable mentions are Cajon players, hand drum players and tambourine owners. Just because its easier to make a sound on some instruments more than others doesn’t mean those instruments don’t require as much dedication to play properly as any other instrument.
Mykk Hannan: Hey man, I got my bass out in the car. Can I join you on stage? Two bassists would be badass…. Uh, huh.
Steven Whitaker: I agree. And it’s not just with harp players, we get all kinds of musicians asking to play with us and get offended if I don’t know them and I say no. Amateurs don’t know the unwritten rule that you don’t ask to sit in with a band, they ask you. I tell them all we’re not an open mic jam band. Sorry. It has a lot to do with ego and wanting to show off. Pros don’t ask and don’t even care if they get up with us. They play all the time and don’t have an ego. If a musician says that he’s “really good”, you already know he’s an amateur and is looking to glorify his ego. Total BS.
Levi’s reply: 100%. This guy the other day was actually going around telling everyone at the bar he was about to get up with us and blow everyone away before he even asked us to get up.
Bobby Ritter: So well said. And makes total sense. If you’re supposed to be there, and performing with the band, you would know well in advance. I play harmonica, but would never have balls enough to ask any band, if I could sit in. Smh
